Research Dossier - Initial Research

Initially with this project I wanted to explore art as a way of healing from trauma and grief.

Days of Healing Exhibition

Using art as a method of healing. This was a series of paintings I made in response to the passing of two loved ones and also a traumatic event that happened to me. Painting allowed me to process complex feelings.

I also created a film to explore my femininity, trauma and sexuality.

I felt like maybe my project was a bit too broad, but I felt like I just needed to get everything out and then see what stuck.

I used some of my paintings as a reference for my research, just to give myself a starting point.

After that I started looking at a few photo books. I was quite struck by a photo series by Marriane Muller. I started writing words as I went through her photos and I found that by the end my words were very strong and aggressive.

I decided I wanted to explore this further and I filmed some footage of nature and also my body. I cut them together to explore the relationship between the feminine body and nature and also what connotations of being "clean" and "dirty" might mean.

I also found some old portraits that I made from when I was around 17 years old (just under 10 years ago) these are members from my dutch side of the family. I was wondering if I could explore generational trauma, but it didn't really go anywhere.

I did a workshop with Vera which was really cool. I made a little animation of a thistle.

I started to think about what relates my two loved one the I lost, my granny and my friend. I started to think about deaths, the death of my friend, the death of my granny and the death of part of myself. I also started to think about how we are all Scottish women.

Self portraits